Will Smith recognized the cameraman!
will smith is a national treasure
since so many people are a fan of my insults, i’ve made a curse-free insult generator at the request of a very enthusiastic anon
here u go, bud
YOU REPULSIVE CELERY STICK.
YOU OBTUSE PUMPKIN SEED
You SORDID BALLPOINT PEN
You ARROGANT DESK LAMP
you ABHORRENT WAFFLE
YOU TEDIOUS CURTAIN ROD
incongruous knitting needle
YOU CATATONIC ROCKING CHAIR
i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen